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The moral of this story is definitely not to use an STI alert service as a vehicle for pranks on innocent friends. Sex with Strangers, Electronic Cheating and Dating for the Shy. Needless to say SNB and I took in a lot of galleries and sporting events that weekend. I wondered if I too would act as selflessly in a similar situation. I will never meet her or have the opportunity to tell her I rate her lady balls (let’s be honest, that would be weird) but from afar I figured she had at least earned herself some good relationship karma. I’m not thrilled she had relations with SNB (naturally in my head I was his only ever girlfriend) but there was something classy in what she had done. I suddenly developed a strange respect for this Lou Lou character. She had nothing to gain and lots to lose - but she did it anyway. It was a courtesy – a courtesy that should always be extended but one that would have brought painstaking levels of embarrassment. But that’s where Lou Lou had found herself and she took the high road. Ideally that path to prosperity doesn’t involve owning up to an STI to stop past sexual partners passing it on to other unsuspecting women.
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Regardless of how fleeting a relationship is most of us will go to great lengths to appear prosperous to an ex. Excellent taste in men but terrible timing.Īs deeply inconvenient as it felt, I had to admire her courage and just how grown up the whole thing was. "As deeply inconvenient as it felt, I had to admire her courage and just how grown up the whole thing was." Image via iStock. And she’d picked our first weekend away together to do it. A girl from SNB’s past so abruptly made her way into our present and was now dictating our immediate future. There was an anonymous option but Lou Lou hadn’t taken it. You know, in case the recipient gets some paranoid idea his friends are playing a practical joke. She was a (recent-ish) past fling of SNB and she had chosen the less comfortable option of putting her name to this virtual heads-up in an attempt to add legitimacy to its contents. In our Gonorrheoa-induced trance, SNB and I had completely missed it. The mastermind responsible is bound to step forward and mark their place in the hall of fame of modern prankery.Įventually, one observant friend points to a woman’s name at the bottom of the text. This kind of evil genius requires research, imagination and clear vision (I later learned it requires no more than someone entering a phone number into a website – how is it more people aren’t misusing this?). SNB sends screenshot of STI message to said friends on WhatsApp. They know we’re on our first weekend away and evidently couldn’t resist the opportunity to throw a sexually transmitted spanner in the works. SNB’s mates quickly become prime suspects. But wait, it addresses SNB by his first name. People really need to be more careful when they’re punching in the digits, I scoff. Surely it’s been sent to the wrong number. My millennial breakfast had been going so well. Let Them Know - helping people who have been diagnosed with Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, etc to tell their sexual partners that they might also be at risk. There it is in glaring iPhone 3 technicolour: "In a split second my admirably transparent Shiny New Boyfriend (SNB) hands me his phone so I can absorb the gravity of the message myself." Image via iStock. In a split second my admirably transparent Shiny New Boyfriend (SNB) hands me his phone so I can absorb the gravity of the message myself. I was Carrie and this was my post-it note.
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It sounds like one of those delicious yet over-the-top Sex and the City scenarios that never actually happen in real life, doesn’t it? Except, it did happen. You’ve barely had time to savour your first avocado and poached eggs of the trip (with a side of haloumi, to really destroy any chance of property ownership) when out of nowhere he gets a text from a sexual health messaging service telling him he may have an STI (Sexually Transmissible Infection) and he should get tested. Imagine you’re on your first weekend away with a shiny new boyfriend.